what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
How external is "for external use only"?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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