I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
love makes seman taste better
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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