you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
tell me about the fingering
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
