FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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