I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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