Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
