whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
