Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
