wrigley field is MILF paradise
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My breath smells like gin and sadness
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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