i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
