I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
