I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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