Apparently you make a good broom.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
