You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
