just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hippo gnu deer
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
