I want to make a zoo with you.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
