he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
