Whod you bang
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
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Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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