Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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