Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
