I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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