I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Boobs speak an international language.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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