I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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