This is not my ceiling
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize