I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
