I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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