He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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