How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
