Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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