it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
