i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
