After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
