is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
