I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
we're chasing vodka with high fives
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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