sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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