Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize