He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
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he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
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I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So vagazzling was a success
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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