Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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