It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize