sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
