i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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