in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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