when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
