I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
