i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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