In the future we'll all be gay
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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