We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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