I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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