you guys were way drunker than both of me
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
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I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
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She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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