So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
