why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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