We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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