There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
