I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
