Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
