how do flat chested girls get laid?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
