He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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