I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
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i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
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Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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